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How To Have Phenomenal Conversations With Girls

Written By Matt S.
Image By BraNewbs
Tags flirting, dating, conversation, talking, girls,

If you're a guy that has trouble talking to the opposite sex, you're not alone. Many guys just forget how to have basic conversations when in the presence of attractive females, and suffer because of it. If you can't have a good conversation with a girl you're attracted to, forget about ever standing a chance to date her. Girls won't date you if they're not comfortable talking to you, so it's important to have good conversation skills to become a better dater. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when you start a conversation with an attractive lady.

Start With These Common Conversation Topics
When you have a conversation with an attractive girl, it will start out like any other conversation. Stick to these common conversation topics to keep things moving.

  • Work
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Hobbies
  • Interests
  • Aspirations

You've talked about these things a million times with other people before so you have some experience under your belt. Remember to have interesting answers about these same topics when she asks you about them too. Another important thing to remember about conversation topics is to avoid anything negative or offensive. Try to avoid talking about illnesses, deaths, or polarizing issues like abortion, gay marriage, and religion.

image credit: *clairity*

Talk To Her Like Someone You'd Like To Date, Not Like A Friend
If you're overly nice and talk to a girl you're interested in like she's just your friend, you'll end up being just her friend. A lot of guys think that if they can build good rapport with a girl that they'll eventually be able to date them, and are confounded when they end up in the dreaded friend zone. So instead of making the mistake of being too friendly, make sure you talk to her like someone you'd like to date. Don't be afraid to let the conversation get a little flirty and sexual. It shouldn't be overly flirty or sexual or you might come off too strong, but being too boring is a killer. If you want to talk to her as if she's more than a friend, remember these important tips:

  • Don't always agree with her
  • Don't put her on a pedestal
  • Don't let her dominate the conversation
  • Don't let her interrupt or speak over you

Doing these things will show her you have strength and confidence and aren't intimidated by her. These are all important things to convey to her as she considers whether or not you're worth dating.

If you're having trouble flirting with girls during conversation, just tease them a little here and there. You could ask her what her goals in life are, and if she has nothing to say, playfully give her a hard time about it. If she has an obsession with a washed out boy band, jokingly tell her she needs to listen to new music. If she has a weird habit or quirk, playfully tell her you think she's nuts. There are so many ways you can flirt with girls and lightly push their buttons when having open ended conversations with them and doing so is vitally important if you want to date them.

Make An Observation About Your Surroundings Or Her
Making an observation about your surroundings or the girl you're talking with is an easy way to keep a conversation moving. It's especially helpful if you're in an environment where there are other people and plenty of things to see. Parks, bars, parties, and restaurants are all hot beds for making easy observations and comments about just about anything. And if you run out of things to say about your surrounding, you can always comment on something she's wearing or how she looks. Here are a few to get you started:

  • The food here reminds me of...
  • The crowd here is pretty hip
  • I love your dress/purse/necklace because...
  • Your perfume smells amazing

Don't Try Too Hard To Impress Her
A lot of guys feel like they have to tell a girl everything that's great about them in order to impress them. This can lead to endless bragging which is a huge turn off for many girls. Unless you're hoping to date a gold digger, don't mention how much money you make or how nice your car or house is. Be modest and let her learn more about you herself. If you try too hard to impress her and abruptly change conversation topics so you can tell her how great you are, she'll eventually lose interest and pass you up.

Lead An Interesting Life
If you stay at home all day and don't do anything but watch TV and surf the internet in your free time, you should make some changes so you have more interesting experiences and life stories to talk about. A few ways you can start spending more time away from your home:

  • Take on a new hobby
  • Meet new people and expand your social circle
  • Take a class
  • Travel to exotic places
  • Start working out
  • Initiate social gatherings with your existing friends
  • Spend time with your coworkers outside of work
  • Join a club

If you start doing these things, you'll have more to talk about with the girls you meet. The reason why this is important is that attractive girls usually have a lot of options, and if you're not doing anything interesting with your life, they'll find guys that are. So get off of your couch or computer chair and start doing more interesting things outside of your house.

image credit: neon.love

Practice Makes Perfect
Developing your conversation skills won't happen over night. It's important to practice your conversation skills whenever possible or else you'll never improve. If you're having trouble practicing your conversation skills with girls, you should do as the previous tip says and lead a more interesting life. The more you do this, the more people you will meet, and the more you'll be forced to hone and perfect your conversation skills.

The absolute best way to practice your conversation skills is to have conversations with strangers. This is a very difficult thing to do, but it comes with its rewards. If you learn to have conversations with strangers, having normal conversations with people you just meet in work and social settings will be much easier. To start a conversation with a stranger, it's best to initiate by making a statement or asking a question about something. Here are a few reliable ways to get started:

  • Comment on something they're wearing or their hair
  • Make an observation about the surroundings
  • Ask them about what they're carrying (shopping bags, brief case, purse, etc.)
  • Ask simple questions about how to get somewhere nearby

When initiating a conversation with a stranger, remember to keep your voice loud and clear so the person you're talking to know he or she is being talked to. It is also important to remember not to be overly loud and clear or you might come off as threatening and intimidating, which is the last thing you want to convey to a stranger. Another thing to avoid is getting too close to the person you're talking to. You have to be somewhat detached at first because if the conversation fizzles, you'll be able to remove yourself from the conversation more gracefully.

image credit: malouette

Remember To Use Basic Conversation Etiquette
Using basic conversation etiquette is an essential part of having great conversations with girls. If you don't use basic conversation etiquette, she might think you have bad social skills or are rude. These aren't things you want to convey to her at all. To give you a quick lesson in conversation etiquette, here's a list of quick tips to follow:

  • Be a good listener
  • Use an appropriate voice volume for your settings
  • Don't interrupt or speak over her
  • Don't swear too much
  • Be polite and respectful of her opinions
  • Avoid negative and offensive conversation topics
  • Don't fight for control over the conversation
The tip: "Don't swear too much" has a bit of flexibility. If you're at a party and are talking to a girl that's using a lot of swear words, you shouldn't feel like you have to restrain yourself. If however you're talking to a girl that has a very clean vocabulary, you really don't want to drop too many swear words into the conversation. Doing so can make her feel uncomfortable and even offended. If you don't normally use a lot of swear words, don't force it, and when in doubt use less rather than more.

Know When And How To Gracefully End The Conversation
Knowing when and how to gracefully end a conversation with a girl will help improve your chances of seeing her again. This is because if you end things well, she'll be more willing and excited to see you again. If you end things awkwardly, she'll be hesitant to see you again. The best time to end a conversation is after you two are comfortable talking to each other, but before the conversation starts to lull.

You want to end the conversation on a high note so that she'll be clamoring see you again, but you don't want to end the conversation too early or else she might think you're not interested in her or that you're not comfortable around her. When you end a conversation with a girl and things go well, make sure you exchange numbers or contact information. If you made a connection with her, there's no reason why you shouldn't see her again. Make it clear that you'd like to get together again, but don't seem too needy or desperate. Taking a casual and relaxed approach will put her at ease and make things easier for the both of you.

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