How To Maintain Your Friendships While In A Relationship


As men, there is nothing better than having the comradery of a few good friends. However, having a loved one by your side is just as good and meaningful. What makes the hardest dilemma for any man is trying to make sure that everyone is happy, where you are spending quality time with each. While you do not want to disappoint your guys by skipping out of poker night for a movie night with your girl, you do not want to miss your girlfriends ‘long prepared dinner’ for beer and wings with your buddies as well. It seems that no matter what choice you make, someone is going to get hurt in the process. Despite this seemingly impossible decision, there are indeed ways to resolve the situation.

So, how exactly is the best way to dedicate time for both friends and girlfriends? The following are some easy to manage methods that will ensure that neither party will be hurt in the process:

1. Use Clear And Constant Communication
Talk to your friends and girlfriend together, and explain to them that you want to work something out that is fair for everyone. This method is the most direct way of finding a resolution, as it brings the issue out into the open. Always remember, you do not want to make either side (girlfriend or friends) feel that they are being attacked; just simply make a statement saying that you need to spend time with everyone in a fair manner.

As well, you do not want to make it seem that you are ‘scheduling’ your time with your friends or girlfriend, as this will give a bad impression that the time is not ‘quality’ time, moreover that you are spending time cause you have to. However, if you can just acknowledge to everyone that you need time to spend equally, then everyone should have a good understanding. Most of all, this approach is best because you are showing that you are concerned of hurting their feelings, and that everyone is important to you.

2. Put Yourself First
Think about what is best for you in the end. Yes, that seems a bit selfish, but honestly stressing yourself out over your friends and girlfriend, will only hurt you in the end. So, be sure to take charge of the situation, especially when you sit down with them; tell your friends and girlfriend that you give them respect, so you deserve some in return. Reciprocity is something that is needed in order to make anything work, and even more worthwhile.

3. Hang Out With Your Friends And Girlfriend At Once
Make time that incorporates both your friends and girlfriend. Most of you are thinking that this is a BAD idea, as your girl probably does not like or want to be hanging out with the guys (not to mention that sometimes it is just not a good idea to have your guys hanging out with your girl), but just make this kind of an occasion a seldom event. Being able to have everyone at your place one night every week or two to watch a game or movie is something that would make everyone happy, and most of all it gives you a chance to relax and not stress.

Beyond this point, let’s be honest guys: your girl should be able to hang with the guys, and visa versa. Of course, this does not mean that your girlfriend necessarily has to be able to shotgun a beer or be a poker fanatic, but your girlfriend should have some common interests as your friends. If you girlfriend is completely different from your friends, then it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, which will most likely have some trouble ahead. And for your guys, make sure that they know that you would be willing to hang out with their girlfriends when the time calls for it.

4. Test Out The Double Party Method
Test out the ‘double-party’ method, which is when you have times where your friends can hang out with your girlfriend’s friends. This usually allows everyone to be happy, where you can have time alone with friends and girlfriend, as well as have everyone together. This is most common when going to or hosting parties. One last note to be aware of when trying to manage a relationship with friends is that there is no ‘magical answer’ to making everyone happy, as well there is no ‘magical amount’ of time that if you spend with each party then your world will be perfect. It is just like anything in life, a challenge; a challenge that takes time and practice. However, as long as you keep your communication open, and be as sincere and honest as possible through this process, then you will be able to find time for both friends and girlfriends. Again, this is dependent on each of our own situation, friends, girlfriend, etc. However, this is all about making sure that you have time for those that matter most to you in your life.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *