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5 Things To Avoid When Asking Her Out


Written By Matt S.
Image By saiddone
Tags dating, flirting, ask out,

Asking out girls is something guys fret over all the time because their success and failure are so closely tied to a simple little question. If you're a guy looking to improve your chances of success when asking a girl out, there are a few important things you should avoid at all costs.

1. Don't Ask Her Out Unless There Is At Least Some Mutual Interest
The first thing you should avoid is asking her out when there's no mutual interest. If you ask a girl out that hasn't shown a trace of interest in you, you're setting yourself up for utter disaster. The reason for this is because dating is only successful when both participants are interested in each other. If you pine over a girl and she hardly notices you, then get to know her better to see if there's any true dating potential.

What happens frequently is guys will develop crushes on girls they don't stand a chance of dating. Some may even muster up the courage to propose a date, only to be rejected immediately. You do not want to be one of these guys because it will only make your life more awkward and humiliating. Instead, make sure there is at least some interest from girls before asking them out.

2. Don't Make It Seem Like She'd Be Doing You A Favor By Dating You
If you make it seem like she'd be doing you a favor by dating you, you might as well tell her that she's too good for you, and that you're not worth dating. Taking this approach will show her you lack confidence and self worth which are two very unattractive traits. Another important reason to avoid this approach is because it makes it seem like you're trying to get something from her. This is something that will make her very hesitant to date you because dating should be beneficial for both you and her. If you make it seem like you have nothing to offer and will only be taking away from her, there's no reason why she'll agree to date you.

3. Don't Do It In Front Of Her Friends Or Your Friends
One surefire way to make her feel uncomfortable when asking her out is doing it in front of her friends or your friends. Dating is a more personal matter that should be initiated in private as much as possible. This will make her feel more comfortable and less pressured when asked out. Another reason why asking her out in front of her friends or your friends is a bad idea is because you should be spending time with her alone before you even think about asking her out. If you don't ever spend any time alone with her and haven't developed some sort of one on one friendship with her, asking her out would seem sudden and unnatural, which could scare her away.

4. Don't Use Text Messages, Emails, Or Social Networking Sites
The If you want to display a complete lack of self confidence to a girl, ask her out using a text message, email, or social networking site. Because technology is so pervasive in our lives today, it may seem natural to ask a girl out by using a text message, email, or social networking site, but doing so is a very poor choice for several reasons:

  • You'll forever be known as "that guy" who asked her using a text message, email, or social networking site
  • Displays a total lack of confidence
  • Can come off as creepy
  • Makes it much easier for her to reject you

If you're not man enough to ask her out in person, you're not worth dating. Plus, many girls, especially the more attractive ones, get all sorts of attention from guys on the social networking sites they frequent. They constantly get messages and comments from random guys telling them how pretty they are. Do you want to be lumped into the same category as these guys? Hopefully not. Asking her out in person will help differentiate yourself from the crowd.

The ubiquity of technology is a big reason why guys still resort to using text messages, emails, and social networking sites to ask girls out, but the biggest reason is fear of rejection. If your fear of getting rejected is pushing you use text messages, email, or social networking sites to ask her out, examine the root of your fears before even deciding to ask her out. If your fears stem from your own insecurities and low confidence, these are issues you should work on before asking her out. Having these types of problems can make asking girls out difficult, and dating girls even more difficult. If asking girls out using text messages, emails, or social networking sites seems like your only option, work on developing your confidence until you are able to ask girls out in person.

5. Don't Make A Big Deal Out Of It, Especially If Rejected
Another thing to avoid when asking her out is making a big deal out of it. If you do this, she will likely feel pressured, uncomfortable, and even creeped out, which will only increase your chances of rejection. If you are comfortable with a girl on a potentially romantic level, asking her out on a date should be a very natural progression for both you and her. You shouldn't have to over think it or build up to it too much.

It's also important not to make a big deal out of getting rejected if that's what happens. Getting rejected is never an easy thing to deal with, but if you make a big deal out of it, she will feel uncomfortable, and awkward the next time she sees you.

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